2009 May - Michigan Grip Championship - Matt Brouse

[Matt Brouse]

So it looks like I’m going to have to get back to training grip now. Thorton could literally be my dad and Durniat wears like a 28 waist. Neither of which are acceptable for me to be losing to. No offense intended, it’s just how I view things. Also, Coulter tied me on an event which about gave me an aneurysm (so many obvious reasons). All offense intended. So yeah, I got 3rd which is horrendous. Brent Barbie looks like Dennis Rogers. Taylor has soft little girly hands and forearms but can close the 3. I’ll try and go event-by-event.

Grippers

I started with what I was told was an “easy 3” because I can usually close the 3 whenever the mood strikes. Turns out it was a “pathetic 3” because I don’t think I would have needed to set the thing. Worthless. The next gripper was something harder than that but not yet to the impressive ones. I closed it just about as easily and was a little disappointed because I run out of gas real quick on grippers and my 3rd attempt proved it as I missed the SE. First, I missed the SE because the handle was loose and it flipped out of my hand, later after being granted another attempt when I spoke up, I missed it because I am pathetic. My final attempt, which would have secured me the event win over oldy and skinny was some old smooth gripper which apparently has a reputation (Super Heavy Duty or something…). The judge told me that he could see skin through the ends of the handles but he’d have been hard pressed to run a sheet of paper through the gap. FML. 3 way tie on this event? Whatever…

Hub Lift

This thing was a circus. What a joke. I ended up getting 57.5 pounds, which was a monstrous PR just because I’ve never seriously tried to add weight. Anyway, front loading is a joke and I think the guys who used it the best and did the best agree, or it seemed that way. I was impressed with what some of these nut jobs were able to do. If nothing else it certainly makes a hell of a racket, which was annoying. Less interested in hub lifts than I was before.

2” VBar

This is about the point in the contest where I started talking; either because I was finally waking up or because I knew Thorton-hears-a-who and Derknee@ and I were all going to be darn near neck-n-neck so the mind games started. We mostly agreed to start at 250lbs. A modest opener which twig boy and I were happy with but Gramps seemed to regret. I believe we all went right to 280 after that. Durniat wasted an attempt because Bob had shouted out a rule about 1 pull per attempt (which is how it should have been the whole time, in this bald pricks opinion) and he hadn’t set the hand right. All three got the weight however. I punked on 295; got it the appropriate height but let it slip. The judge called it good but being the gentlemen that I am I corrected him and explained that I hadn’t lowered it under control. Thorton, of course, has to get the weight. Then the other guy has to go all world record or whatever… Either way, this seriously needs to be corrected. This should be my lift and if I don’t win it, it should be because of any insane WR attempt (which I suppose it was, here).

Sledge Medley

“This is a medley?”

This turned out well, and motivated me to get more methodical with playing with the hammers. Apparently only skinny-redheaded-dirtyfooted-liberal-hippie and I are the only ones who know how to front lever effectively. If you’d like to learn the trick to it, let me know. I got the 6, 8, and 10 to high platform and Slimmed up to the 16 and had about 708 near misses with the 18.5 ending up in a full layout position after several of them. I did it easily after the contest. I should have front levered the first two with my left to leave more gas in the tank for the real hammers. Anyway, the gentlemen with the long name that I mentioned above tied me here which is motivating enough to train medley style hammers, which I haven’t done. In all seriousness, my hat is off to (Ann) Coulter because the dude will be beating most of you in a couple years. Not me, however. Douche.

Rim Hold

The duck walk of grip. Seriously, I could have done better here. I’m not sure if I was just bored at this point or what. I know I was hungry. I don’t know how you grip nerds survive on such little food but I can’t go that long without teh foodz. I held it for like 4 or 5 seconds or something. Whatever. Honestly, Durniat doing this with 9 fingers was real impressive. Apparently Don did it afterwards with the lighter weight and held it forever or something. So it goes.

I dipped out right afterwards and was asleep within 15 minutes of being home (roughly 6pm). I had done an early morning deadlift session prior to the comp because I wanted to be there before 10am like Coulter suggested. That is the last time I ever listen to a word that fruitcake says. We started at like 11:15am. Before I left, however, I took up BA’s challenge of pressing the Inch. I’ve pressed far more than this but it was cool to get the “official” feat out of the way. It was real easy and my shoulder came out fine, which I was worried about since I hadn’t warmed it up. I’ve had zero soreness thus far, we’ll see tomorrow, but even the heavy reverse band bench press today didn’t awaken anything.

Edited May 10, 2009 by Matt Brouse