It's the most wonderful time of the year

[AnimalCage]

It's PHONE BOOK RECYCLING season!!!   I'm so excited, I may just break out in verse....

Every year, about this time, the new phone books come out.  And every year, about this time, I find stacks and stacks of old phone books laying next to the recycle bins.  Following is an actual email I received from a coworker, and replied to.....

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Not to worry, dear boy.  The phone books have been returned, albeit in a slightly altered state, and not a piece of a page is missing.

It's just that way with addictions, you know.  

-----Original Message-----

From: Simon G******* [mailto:sg******@******.com]

Sent: Tuesday, November 12, 2002 1:11 PM

To: 'amccabe@********.com'; Scott Thornburg

Subject: Phone books in Recycle area...hey...quit it!

To whichever culprit it be, I brought those phone books in for

recycling...not for you guys to rip up...let me feel somewhat green at least! Sheesh.

Simon G********

Data Architect

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[amaury]

Animal Cage,

you seem to be addicted indeed .

Since ripping a phonebook is one of my LONG LONG term goal i would like to know: what about upper-body strength where ripping thick phonebooks is concerned ? Are strong hands enough ?

Thanks.

[ruffhans]

amaury,

you can get a good feel for what it takes by finding something that YOU can tear.  try a regular phone book, (instead of the thickones), or just a couple magazines. i have ripping a stack of old natoinal geographics apart. i can only do one, but you will get a feel for the technique,  which from my understanding is the foundatoin of being good at it.

[AnimalCage]

IMHO (In my humble opinion), grip and forearm are by far the greatest aspects of phone book tearing.  If I tear through the spine, and the spine buckles, it's all I can do just to hold the thing together so I can continue.  Top-to-bottom tears play havoc on the fingers.  Of course, if you finish and you're forearms aren't rocked with spasms, then you need a bigger phone book.  The other supporting muscles, arms, shoulders, and chest, play a much smaller role.  

I ripped an elbow tendon when I began.  It has taken almost a year for it to feel better.  If it doesn't hurt after today's tear-fest, I'd say it's healed.  As always, work your way up.

If your books are too thick, tear them down the spine into smaller sections.  I find .5" to .75" sections good for warm-ups.

[amaury]

"I ripped an elbow tendon when I began"

Thanks for the info AC: I really didn't think it put so much strain on the elbow tendon  :0 ! I'll Warm up and Warm up again...  i suppose it generated lots of side-effects on your grip and non grip training   . Well I Hope it is healed now.

Ruffhans: i'll try to rip "philosopher quarterly" as a first course since i didn't suscribe to national geographics...We are only barbarians i'm afraid...   :D :p

[Jonathan McMillan]

Thanks for sharing some ideas on your "addiction" with us.  It inspires me to want to actually give this ago.  I like the idea of progression with national geographics first  

Jon@han

[ruffhans]

are most guys who tear phonebooks able to clode the #3? does that have anything to do with it?

[bender]

Our battalion recieved a stack of phone books to distribute to the companies, and I just happened to see the stack before they were handed out.  (a symptom of the grip fanatic is elevated heart-rate at the sight of phone books and hardware stores)  I instantly voluntered to distribute them, and walked company to company.  I'd hand out the new one and casualy drop "Ah, do you need the old phonebook?"  When they handed it over, it was showtime.  At the first two stops, I quartered each of their old phone books.  At the next stop, I could only rip it in half.  After that, I just delivered the rest.  It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

 (another note)

 

   Today, a few hours ago actually, we got a new co-worker and he saw some of my larger bent nails.  He straight-up said that it was pretend, a hoax, and it was funny.  He then laughed and said "You bent those with your 'hands' right?", and then smiled, shook his head and walked out.

    Needless to say, there's going to be a bending exibition for the non-believer.  

[Jonathan McMillan]

Bender,  

You're stories are great!!!  I can't believe a guy would look at your twisted metal and disrespect it like that.  Unbelievable!

Jon@han

[BarBender]

Some people are so insucure about their lack of masculinity that they have convinced themselves that anything that is impossible for them is only possible with a cheat or slight of hand trickery. Such people have imposed limitations on themselves and can not be helped or convinced that their belief system is flawed.

[bender]

Yesterday afternoon for the guy who insulted my bent nails, I bent two 60d timber ties, an Ironmind yellow, two 40d's, and six 20d's.  The new guy politely asked if I would "please stop bending those".  

It's weird to see peoples reaction to bending.  Most don't understand why a bent carriage bolt is on my desk, and the pupose of my 30" by 3/8th" HRS rod with three tight, symetric coils.  Some say it's all a joke, some say someone else did it (I'm only 5'11", 190), and some never really understand it until I show them.  

  Now, people are getting used to it and even bring in new nails or sections of steele.  My favorite was bending the four sections of an M-16's cleaning rod (5.5mm CRS).  Apparently there was "no way I could bend them", and then the bet for "all of them in under a minute" came about.  Again, I was even accused of "switching" the rods with easier steel???    

  Today, my co-workers are used to my antics, and just laugh with ammusement at my latest bends.  Even better, I've started three guys on hand strength training, and have "changed the life" of the guy I borrowed Dinosaur Training to.  Must spread my sickness...  must create more benders...   :p

[Jonathan McMillan]

The feeling of converting someone to our sickness still eludes me.  I've tried and tried to convert others at work (getting used to the glazed eyed look or the even worse rolling of the eyes).  I'll just have to start bending stuff  

Jon@han

[amaury]

I'll just have to start bending stuff  

Already done as far as i'm concerned : i ordered a "bag of nails" three days ago...Robert, strongman, bender and David are clearly responsible for it !  

[OldGuy]

Those of us in the know, just apply heat in the right place with a hairdryer. There is a trick to everything.  

[amaury]

Oldguy,

we all have, deep inside our subconscious, a little "water engine inventor", don't we ?  

BTW, how is your bending going (i think you resumed it recently) ?

[bencrush]

AnimalCage, nice to hear you're back in action.  I met you at the Super Grip Challenge this year at Kevin Fulton's farm.  Even when injured, you're stronger than 90% of guys out there.  Hope all goes well with the tearing, as I am a fellow phone book tearing fanatic.  

Ben Edwards

[AnimalCage]

What a great time, huh Ben??  Yeah, I get the same with the phone books.  Guys walk by and say, "Oh, yeah, there's a trick to that.  You heat them, or bake them in an oven, or something."  I had someone hand me their phone book because they knew nothing had been done to it.  It took me a few minutes, and he kept begging me not to hurt myself, to no avail.   The two halves are still sitting on top of his cubicle cabinet.  Omigod, there's one on the floor near me.  Gotta go!!

[bender]

Converting normal men in to hand-strength-trainers is not an easy task.  I think I'm starting to find the technique.  Here's three examples:

  1).  Place a good sized phone book in the center of a room.  Leave.  Wait until four guys enter the room.  Rush into the room, grab the phone book, and quarter it.  Give each quarter of the book to each of the four guys.  Don't say anything.  Leave.  When they approach you later, deny everything, and claim that "no man could ever tear a phone book, that's impossible".  

  2).  Pick up your Rolling Thunder, Loading Pin, thick wrist roller, and a bag of chalk.  Walk around until you find a strong guy you know.  Demand that he follow you to the nearest set of weights.  Start light, and let him work in with you.  Keep him there and over-train-the-life out of his arms with thick lifts, rollers, and pinches.  Leave.  Wait for him to see you the next day and exclaim how he couldn't even hold a toothbrush this morning.  Claim that you don't understand.   

  3).  Go to a bar and leave a 60d (ok, an "easy" 60d) on the bar stool next to you.  When a guy tries to sit down and finds it, watch him examin it and "bet that he can't bend it".  Wait while he turns red.  Bet a beer that you can bend it...

   In the first two situations, the physical demonstration perks their intrests and makes them think about what's going on.   Just showing people bent stuff or ranting about the glory of hand strength training does nothing.  When you physicaly show them, and do nothing else, it lets their mind start to comprehend the situation, and then they come to you and ask.  When they ask, they are yours, free to be twisted and contorted into the world of bending.  Murrr-ha-ha-ha!  

   In the third situation, it does one of two things.  1).  Starts a fight.  2).  Makes a best friend for life.  Nothing inbetween.

[bender]

Besides the four-guys-in-a-room-with-a-phonebook trick, theres something else I did to convert my first bender (who has since learned to bend the easy 60d timber ties).  At our battalion head quarters, the entrance has a large floor mat with the battalion crest on it.  At each corner there is a highly-shined dummy 155mm artillery round.  It's steel, filled with sand, and...  has the conical head of a "large bullet" or, ta-da, an anvil!  I'd guess the weight to be between 40-50 lbs.  It's light, but the head is a wider angle than an anvil.

   The first time I tried to grip it, I failed, so increased my thick-bar work and hammer curls.  I came back a few weeks later, squeezed the conical tip, and casualy hammer curled the 155mm artillery round.  

   Of course, it was timed so one of my co-workers saw me.  (remember, the infantry is one big ball-measuring-contest, so every body is trying to physicaly and mentaly be the toughest, and can't ever be outdone by another)  He then grabbed the other round, and squeezed, snorted, and pulled, but failed.  Holding back a fit of giggling, I asked why couldn't he do it?  

   Since then, I've seen him on two occasions trying to curl the round.  He hasn't yet, but now he trains regularly with my gear.  I even come into my office to see a smiling SGT Rob levering my sledge.  He's addicted, and every time he asks to borrow the Rolling thunder or CoC's, I feel proud.

   I've also visited two guys who used to be part of my senior leadership, and noticed that they too now keep a sledgehammer in their office, and exclaim how great of a work out it really is.  I just nod my head and agree.